Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
