she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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