i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
