i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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