Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Randomize
