we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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