I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
