I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize