Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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