Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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