hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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