He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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