they need to just BURY HIM!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
