Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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