After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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