Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
