no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
