Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
