Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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