I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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