Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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