he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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