Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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