I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
