does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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