Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
