the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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