i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
