Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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