just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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