i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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