in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
