I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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