so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
