I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm both gender and math confused
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
