I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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