We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
