is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
