she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
