I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
