Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
