Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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