just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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