his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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