What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
