just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
