I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
