That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
