I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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