I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
