Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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