Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
