So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize