soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
