apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just found a bag of teeth...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
