What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
