so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize