i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I party with great urgency now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize