i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
