I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
