Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
